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how’re you doing today I’m doing pretty well ruler measuring tape measuring cup KY lubricant please it’s a little embarrassing to walk out with this I’ve been taking these dick pills I got off the internet I’m gonna go home measure the cock see you fold Danny added any centimeters to the snake you know are you curious okay moment of truth per hour of truth it’s gonna take me a while like I get hard stuff guys let’s be real we all know size matters on any giving day ladies want men that are wider thicker and fuller do you want guys who are wider thicker and fuller on Tuesdays what about Wednesday’s experience for yourself what it feels like to show off an enormous rock-hard penis with male ultra core in size becomes an issue you’ve already won it certainly hasn’t become an issue it’s not plopping in the toilet water and I’m not retailer entire six months ago my cock was a six point two inches long that’s across the top no pushing but with a lot of flexing and my hardest boner since Thanksgiving girth was a more pedestrian four point six or four point seven the two stats taken together punching my lifelong ticket aboard the hms average or maybe not i’ve only been on the pills for about a week but we’re gonna find out if there’s been any rightward movement along the ruler i want to say first that my concept for this video was originally to explore all the sketchy sidebar ads on pornhub i had that idea for months but this is what pushed me to action let’s have a look who do we want to choose whoa let’s bounce oh fuck making a video about sex games without entering his credit card information to play this is everything i despise about the YouTube platform you’re an entertainer you don’t get to have regular people boundaries we made prison wine you can get botulism and die when I see two middle-aged asexual indie rockers not drink prison wine I’m gonna say good on us for having made that I drink prison wine 10 peeled oranges a piece of bread some sugar cubes and ketchup when I see someone make a video about whores and not fuck a whore I get in my car and go to Nevada I don’t want to say this was my sexual masterpiece but this was my sexual masterpiece so unlike PCP lace and Z who help falls on a bums needle and gets HIV I forked over the credit card yeah that’s definitely not authorized oh well call it research tax scholar booty was the first game i clicked on where we open on a girl getting raped by a gang of muslim extremists I was fairly motivated for the rescue attempt but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to pick up the weaponry I then tried one unarmed forlorn sprint for the finish line only to be gunned down hopefully the lady was offered a conversion as an alternative to rape and beheading in fucked up school you assume the role of an education professional trolling the halls for fresh meats calling young girls morons and conducting highly ethical office hours this was the first one I got laid in I can’t show it’s all just report that the guy’s cock is about 11 by 6 and the chicks are all built like $50,000 escorts and and I confess while bending over an ass fucking one of the dames on my desk I did have to go jerk off in real life the actual cock in whole sex play part of the game is clunky though move your mouse around to thrust but it’s so unresponsive that I found myself clicking back to the start and entertaining myself with more verbal abuse back to dick pills male ultracal adds fairly dominate pornhub at the moment they’ve got endorsements for major and minor porn stars they get a near endless stream of actors reading teleprompter testimonials and my top tips for selecting the very best male enhancement supplement the company should have a sophisticated website you learn so much from just looking at how sophisticated the website is to show off an enormous rock-hard penis know what kind of mess this guys are addicted to sophisticated website sophisticated the website is the entire time I was on the site it felt like slime was leaking out onto my keyboard along with that charming intro video we have all class banner ads and scientifically backed top ten lists but it isn’t until you find the testimonials that things get real disturbing take all David gee he’s 58 and thanks to ultra core he’s enjoying raging erections that are almost red with anger one day he struck up a conversation with his neighbor’s smoking hot teen daughter one thing led to another and before dinner they were in his living room having sex yeah I call rape I call Fort Lauderdale PD – but I’m sure the girls already decapitated in a swamp the real head-scratcher is this one though I know for a fact that I’m attractive to the opposite sex I have a face that passes for handsome some would say that I should have no problems getting women to sleep with me what is this this isn’t fast in the Furious is Johnny Tran this is Miami Florida’s Vincent L I may be physically attractive but I don’t have the penis size to back it up sure it’s not a challenge for me to get women into bed but for the time I reveal my small five inch I see their faces fill with pity disgust disappointment one time I tried to hook up with a woman I work with and she let me know that she already knows what size I’m packin and she told me you’re hot but I can’t work with that can’t she she can’t work with the national average penis size want to hear a crazy stats six point three inches is the 95th percentile marker know what that means it means you could bring home the biggest size Queen tunt in all the bar means even if she fucked 100 dudes in the past year only five of them would have a penis longer than six point three inches rest of the 95 would be average below average or at most about an inch above average 95 out of a hundred averaged girth is four point five nine inches by the way which sounds big but really just looks like this for comparison this mic I’m speaking into is about seven and a half inches in girth of course that bitch from the testimonial doesn’t exist and neither does Vince look on the homepage they have porn star Ava adam’s listed as Kate from Detroit this is just some guy from the company who sucks at writing pretending to be Asian and dreaming up girls whose faces fill with pity disgust and disappointment when they see a regular-sized body part this is why I hope the ultra courses get hit by a comet they’re fucking with dudes heads and well I won’t call them crooks I did take their product to somebody who could tell me a little bit more about what was inside you probably be with me you can use my buddy alright so are you the pharmacist by chance I mean do you know much about chemicals or ingredients that are in these vitamins talk to one of the white coats yes absolutely so we were asking the pharmacy tech about a male enhancement supplement basically penis pills for lack of a more artful term and I was just wondering if I’d have a professional look over these we’re in the research phase right now and just give me generally an idea there’s anything that’s gonna kill me in there or even if there’s anything that’s effective because I’m skeptical so it’s not gonna miraculously add three inches to my penis I thought they had doctors endorsements suspicious of old Ari McGill i snooped around and guess where I found his ass upwork.com a freelancer site the same one I use in fact to get guys and Pakistan to blur my cock for five dollars a pop or to photoshop me using popcorn as an accomplice in sexual assault you know sophisticated stuff there is pimping out his expertise for a couple hundred bucks a pop and he’s already done multiple reviews for supplement companies and it’s clear ultra core found him here since they copied and pasted this exact bio on to their site they also got this lady doctor whose Facebook page I found where she likes to post stuff like this dr. Helen here and a whole bunch of comments and messages about people wanting to know making extra money I will tell you about how I’m making the extra 5 10 15 20 thousand extra every month also she has a bunch of feminist bullshit which seems vaguely incongruent with supporting a site teaching guys to smash girls and advocating fifty eight year olds luring teens into their living room and I’m not mad at the people punching a clock at Ultra Corps HQ I’ve been one of them I’ve worked for this company not this company but a company running the same racket in a different industry I’m gonna be vague but it was camera related we do things like charging people 50 dollars to upgrade to HD even though all the cameras were HD already we charge $100 more for a waterproof camera than send a regular one a few weeks in your half aware you’re fuckin over the public but you already know the roads to work your direct deposit is already set up they let you wear sweat pants so you stay and the scam is never spoken of openly I promise the CEO of ultra core isn’t telling new hires that the pills are 50% crabgrass and 50% dust off the top of his entertainment center still I had to answer to the cold length of the ruler before dismissing the company is a total hoax let’s go measure the cock my cargo from Target um hey can I use her as a tool in my erection getting is your mom did I actually use this would you be honored is there some kind of prohibition against that yeah I need a beverage to take down some more pills okay I’ll take one more serving before I measure here I fuckin snort one right now for a little boost that’s a great fucking idea well your mom’s out right now right yes so what she walks in and I can open dick tail splayed across her cleavage and a dollar bill up to my nose you doing your Danny Boy explain I hope she knows about me I’m gonna take four there was snort once there he says only four do you a floor resistor was that lady with the white coat I’m gonna toast the parrot before I take it down hey Perry I’m taking cock pills you said you never be able to find its penis right you have to take it to a doctor see if it’s a man or a woman personal use you have penises well maybe this will help maybe it’ll pop out of the feathers it’s gonna pop up his gelatin cab let’s see if I get the powder out that’s good dude Jesus Christ do a line with me go come on keep me company actually have a heart dick pills ride off mommy Villa crisis is cleaning it feels like I snorted a lot of sad fine desert said in Egypt it’s dripping down the back of my throat I got dick pill drip anyhow no no don’t worry I’m gonna do this part over the tub so I’m gonna dip my cock in there to see how much i displace should we go my balls too if it’s balls it should be the entire package I feel like we already seen the full so you just come back out with all the displacement I don’t want to hear any pouring that is a decent amount where we going cups are we going metrics no both that was nuts and shaft oh yeah the people of Europe they got a note – all right leave me a piece makeup off now do you do on top of the deck or on the bottom fucking six point one I went down a bit I couldn’t actually get hard though as a thing I tried to not jerk off before I came over here today while I was writing but I had to pull my cock out had to get one more in before the long road trip down to Nicko’s and I’m regretting the shit out of it now once winning would you watch your face fucking don’t worry about it I had to beat myself silly to get one goddamn instant of Max climate or max hardness slap the ruler on fucking pump some last blood in with my hips six point one was my max this pill made me go from roughly here to like here that’s a loss I can’t work with their girth was unchanged again it took me everything I had to get that up to a respectable fucking number fucking shit was this any surprise bigger penis it’s a fucking vitamin non-prescription it would be just as miraculous as the return of Jesus if these pills could go into your mouth down into your belly figure out where your cock was hitch a ride in that direction arrived safely and then start making you grow more skin there and only there without fucking anything else up that’s like don’t pick a bunch of spaghetti in a San Francisco Bay and hoping it’s gonna float to Sierra Leone and feed starving kids quick story I had a buddy in college handsome dude one to UCLA and had the biggest cock of any I’ve ever known I called it the master blaster and it looked like this Bluetooth speaker except white despite all that’s most insecure dude I’ve ever met sometimes he’d fucked this dumpy blonde chick one night I was talking innocently to earn a hallway and he walked over grabbed her by her wrist and drugged her out of the party in a fit he once tried to fight a dude for making a joke about another ugly girl he master-blaster had hooked up with what I’m saying is big cock guys don’t have gumdrops in classical music and fairies floating around their heads all day if I magically gave you an 8-inch dick you’d start worrying about graying hair baldness your income acne wrinkles under your eyes your flat ass and I felt this all before I wrote a fucking book about it the remedy get good at something you care about and magically the cock thing sorts itself out because your insecurities aren’t about your penis it’s more like the penis is the lightning rod through which all other insecurities enter your body and so you can’t help but eyeing it oh you little piece of shit like it’s the primary problem but it’s not all right forget all the serious shit back to sex games the mutant blows you have to rescue all the women which seems daunting since they’re suspended midair and steel cages but alas you just kind of jump at them and it magically sets them free and that’s it as far as I can tell there’s no sex to be had it’s just a shitty version of an nes platformer from 1989 by far the funniest game is going all the way you’ve been dating a girl for six months who hasn’t pulled out its come to you when you try to kiss her on the lips and who’s never tasted wine before she’s a bitch the goal is to play it all suave and try to pipe her out but fuck that the real joy is in employing the obviously wrong tactics and making her leave sweet nectar high-class prostitute you know the script was written by some coked up ex frat boy and you could even talk shit to her after sex which as far as I can tell is unique to this one game I actually had a decent amount of fun playing these things it might have been worth getting swindled for 39 bucks