Erectile Dysfunction Symptoms: What to do when you can’t get hard?
“Don’t panic. That will only make it worse. Erectile dysfunction is common. In younger age groups it is more likely to be a psychogenic issue around performance anxiety (don’t seek to be like a porn star is a top tip). In men between the ages of 40 and 70, it is estimated that 50 per cent will have some degree of erectile dysfunction. In this age group, there may be a more of a physical issue around blood flow. In either case, consult your doctor and they will be able to give you some more advice. An erectile litmus test is, if you are getting nighttime or early morning erections, it is likely a psychological not a physical vascular issue.”
hey guys I’m Rwanda on behalf of Gotham dating Club and I’m gonna speak about a subject that hits very close to home for me and it’s one of the most humiliating experiences for any guy what do you do when you can’t get it up if you’ve seen me speak before you know this is actually why I got into studying sexuality like I went through a period where I had trouble getting it up and I didn’t know why now all I knew it was a mental issue and it was very I mean if you’ve experienced it and you’re watching this now perhaps because you’ve experienced the humiliation of being in bed with a woman who wants to have sex with you and you can’t give it up it’s it’s one of the most humiliating things for a guy so the first thing I want you guys to know is that you’re not alone I’ve coached a ton of guys who have this issue it’s actually quite common for younger men I think it’s because of internet porn I mean I’ve seen this way more common guys for born 1985 or later because I think you know growing up with free internet porn you can just click from thing to thing to thing it kind of fucks with your attention span when it comes to sex and disconnects you from your body and it’s usually younger men who have this issue where they can’t get it up hasn’t happened to older generations where they had to look at magazines and really pay attention to a picture or god forbid pay attention to a real woman so just know that there’s a lot of guys out there and it’s you’re not some strange anomaly if every once in a while or even a lot of times you have an issue getting it up so I’m going to give you three things to do if you’re in a situation where you can’t get it up and you want to get it up starting from the the easier stuff which is more specific going on to the this is the harder stuff which I think gives you longer lasting benefits so the first thing to do if you realize you’re having trouble getting it up or you’re going to have trouble getting it up is to breathe deeply into your balls a lot of times when we’re stressed because of expectations or our body is just stressed or we’re just not aroused we’ll stop breathing and breathing will help us maintain relaxation and also having high carbon dioxide in our blood is correlated with anxiety so if you’re nervous and you forget to breathe your making yourself more nervous by having too much carbon dioxide in your blood so breathe deeply that’s the first thing and you really should be doing this all the time breathing deeply is healthy for you so the second thing is a little more abstract a little more important too and I’d say this in the phrase respect the cock so there’s this movie I think Magnolia with where Tom Cruise’s character is like yelling to a bunch of guys respect the cock he’s meeting this in a different way I’m saying like respect your own dick like if you’re trying to have sex but your dick clearly doesn’t want to have sex is not hard then there’s some sort of disconnect between your inner dick and if you sound silly but if you personify your dick you think of it as a person or your friend or your buddy you’re kind of being a dick to your dick if you’re forcing it to have sex if your dicks not aroused and clearly something’s off and you’re trying to get it to do something it doesn’t want to do so I’d really pay attention to your dick you should pay attention to your dick and what does it actually want because if it’s not hard it doesn’t want to have sex like very obviously your dick doesn’t want to have sex if it’s not hard so what does it want maybe you need to chill out maybe you’re putting a lot of pressure on your body to perform in a certain way and if you’re again if your dicks not harder and actually not feeling pleasure so why are you trying to have sex so bad if you’re not feeling pleasure so the thing I would do is pay attention to what your dick really wants and actually take the pressure off your dick to do something or feel something and pay attention to your body and see what would actually feel good because again dicks not hard sex isn’t gonna feel good in that moment even if you could somehow magically get hard like by popping viagra or something won’t feel good maybe you want to cuddle maybe you want more foreplay maybe you want to just chill and relax and slow the fuck down maybe you want to talk it’s okay you don’t have to have a hard dick all the time maybe your body just wants to chill for a sec or wants something else maybe you’re hungry maybe you’re tired these are all reasons why your dicks not getting hard respect your cock respect your body pay attention to what actually will feel good so the first thing is to breathe deeply the second thing is to pay attention to what your body really wants respecting your body respecting your cock and the third thing is the scariest thing for most guys but I think this is actually the most effective long run breathing deeply it’s good to do in the moment figuring out what your body really wants in that moment paying attention to your body’s needs in that moment is the next best thing to do but ultimately the best thing to do in the long run is to call it out and this is really scary because the whole reason why this is a big deal in the first place or one one reason at least is that you’re probably humiliated you’re worried about what she thinks and the irony is that that’s probably causing the issue in the first place again assuming that you’re physically healthy this is a mental issue you’re trying probably you’re trying too hard to impress her and if your body doesn’t want to fuck but you’re trying you being your ego is trying to have sex the real reason you’re trying to have sex is to impress her to do something get some sort of external validation like oh I want to be a guy with a hard dick all the time so calling it out and letting yourself be seen in that place basically calling out your own shame will eliminate the shame like shame is something any time we’re shameful we’re trying to hide something and and a limp dick is often a sign of some sort of shame by calling it out being like listen like for whatever reason my cocks not getting hard or even going a step further than that being like listen this is not about you this is like I kind of have this issue every once in a while my dick won’t get hard I don’t know why I’m a little embarrassed about it just tell the truth about it and yes she might judge you for it she might think less of you for it but in my experience and I’ve done this a lot of times most women are understanding and the magic of it is when you call it out when you’re like this is what’s going on this is I’m in full approval of this thing which might be an issue even though I might seem humiliated by it it kind of goes away because once you put it all out there there’s nothing to be ashamed of and if you’re if you realize that she’s okay with your dick not working in this session it takes all the pressure off and very often your cock will get hard so again this is one of the most scary things that could happen to a guy most guys I want to talk about it most guys don’t realize it’s a pretty common thing especially amongst younger men and I would say try these things because you’re not broken and it’s actually a pretty quick fix if you’re willing to do these things so first thing breathe deeply second thing respect your body and look for actually pleasurable to your body in the moment and the third thing the most scary call it out say listen I can’t feel anything in my dick right now or I’m not getting it up or this has happened before I don’t know what the deal is I’m a little embarrassed and those three things if not in the first time overtime will definitely help you get a hard dick because this was an issue for me for months I was super humiliated and now I have great sex all the time and it’s great I was willing to do the work so try these things and hopefully it’ll work if you want more information on how to increase the potency of your sex life have better sex work through emotional things through your sex check out the link below on sex transmutation and of course don’t forget to subscribe to Gotham club thanks for watching